Building Personal Resilience

I recently attended a workshop called "Building Personal Resilience". It was hosted by a yoga studio I like to escape to and the individual who ran the workshop is a teacher, guidance counselor, and life coach (amongst other wonderful roles). The workshop was 2 hours long and therefore only covered basic techniques she suggested we apply to our anxious and stressed-out lives. Despite the short duration, I did walk away with a positive feeling and will definitely implement some of the methods we were provided. Maybe some of these techniques can help you, too:

Broaden Your Comfort Zone

The first exercise we were given was to write down one thing we are grateful for and one which we are concerned about. We wrote these down on sticky paper and were then asked to place them on a chart where we thought they measured as far as the greatness of gratitude or strength of stress. Once all of our sticky notes were on the chart they were scattered anywhere from close to the middle line (which represented our comfort zone) and either high above or far below that line. Our instructor (let's call her "Ms. D") informed us that most of our comfort zones are very narrow and one step towards becoming resilient is to broaden that comfort zone.

Another point she brought up related to this comfort zone is that we should change our perspective, specifically towards looking at things as "bad" or "good", "negative" or "positive". If we broaden our comfort zone, we can include the things we wrote down on our sticky notes as within that zone of what we find comfortable and just accept these things as something that occurs, rather than it being bad or good. The exact words she used were, "It is what it is." And that is all. If we learn to be comfortable with more of our experiences whether they are considered good or bad and just accept them for what they are, we can more easily face the stressful events with better resilience.

Re-scripting

Many of us who are overly anxious, stressed, and/or depressed have recurring thoughts which can be negative by nature. For example, "I am alone", "I am not worthy", "I am a bad parent", "I am a worrier", etc. These negative thoughts can be conscious or subconscious and can affect the way we react to and perceive situations. It's important to re-script these thoughts in order to create a more positive outlook and to learn to react to situations appropriately - to increase resilience. Instead of saying "I am a bad parent" one could say "Although I sometimes overreact to my child's mis-behaviour and don't always have the time I wish I had to spend with my children, I do the best I can and will continue to grow with my children and work on our relationship with love and respect."

"Right Here, Right Now"

I don't know how many of you have had a panic attack or have been so anxious that you lose focus and your mind feels fuzzy, but this has happened to me quite a few times during my life, especially in the last couple of years as parenting has become more difficult and my depression and anxiety has increased.

Ms. D explained to us that even during this phase of anxiety or panic, it's important to remain aware of the experience. We need to try to avoid that "fuzziness" and focus on what we are doing and how we are feeling. One very successful way to accomplish this is to control our breathing. This is the breathing exercise we did at the workshop:

1. Sit or lay down and focus on feeling the part of your body which is touching the ground, pillow, couch, etc.

2. Breathe normally and after a few breathes place your hands on either side of your belly button so that your middle fingers of each hand are touching each other at the tips.

3. Breathe in deeply enough (through your nose) that your belly fills up with air and your fingers separate, then breathe out (again through your nose) so that your fingertips touch again. Repeat this for a few breaths.

4. Next, move your hands to your sides where your rib cage ends with your thumbs wrapped towards your back and your pointing finger towards your front.

5. Breathe in deeply again so that your sides expand enough that they fill up your other three fingers. Breathe out and repeat this a few times.

6. Lastly, place your fingers below your collarbone.

7. Breathe in from your belly, side, and then up to where your hands are.

8. Continue for a few breaths, then put your hands at your sides and let your breathing return to normal.

This exercise should bring your breathing and heart rate back to normal and your panic attack or anxiety should subside. You can also try this breathing exercise while thinking about a stresser in your life and while breathing repeat the words "Right here, Right now". This reminds you to stay in the present and can hopefully help calm you in tough situations.

Gratitude

When we allow ourselves to be directed by the negative things that occur we can end up creating more negative thoughts and actions. It is important to remind ourselves of the things we are grateful for and to find time for positive substance in our day, every day. It can be easy to allow the negative to build up like a snowball that picks up more and more snow as it travels. Break down the negative ball of snow by chipping away at it with positive thoughts and give yourself the time you need to break the negative build-up. Sometimes that means taking a sick day from work or saying no to a dinner date. Whatever it is, it's important to recognize when the negative is taking over and to focus on your well-being.

At the end of the workshop, Ms. D suggested that we read any one or more of Brene Brown's books (and mentioned Daring Greatly, specifically).

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=F._Dorothy